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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

And then there was light…

So…I haven’t written in a minute and I finally came to grips with the fact that I miss it. Easy cure…start writing! Whenever I get asked why I haven’t posted in so long, my excuse is always that I’m not motivated anymore, that I’ve lost the drive to write, that I used to be inspired everyday to write about things that happened around me and for some reason the inspirations haven’t been there for me. There’s a perfect term for this kind of excuse…”BULLSHIT”. The inspirations are always there, they’ve always been. I constantly find myself surrounded by interesting people with great ideas and points of view on different topics. At least once a day I find myself intrigued by something that has been said or done around me, so I should write about it, and I will.

I know that first paragraph sounded strange, think of it as a submission to The Gerald, by The Gerald, for The Gerald to put more effort on me. The New Year is upon us. It is a time of self-reflection and plans for self improvement, you infidels call them “New Year’s Resolutions”. Most of you (unless you were hiding under a rock made of ice in the mystical mountains of Mars) heard Barrack Obama echo a message of change. Well, there’s always going to be changes in the universe, it’s just a matter of how you effect the changes that happen within your own life, which will also affect the people closest to you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you always say how you wanna play softball in the spring, then play softball in the spring. If you always say you wanna get your master’s degree in astrophysics, then go get your damn degree and stop talking about it, and if you want to call Jerry back after he obviously called you at 8:30 in the morning to straighten out some VERY serious information like “is Maureen’s birthday really on New Year’s Eve? I thought it was on New Year’s Day…” before he had to get a phone call from her unexpectedly early at 9:42 in the morning wondering why I had not yet wished her a Happy Birthday, then please do. Phew! So, ring in 2009 like it could be the last. Live for today and do all the things you always say you wanna do, but be conscious of the future (try not to spend your life savings doing it), as I’m sure 2009 won’t actually be the last. Happy New Year everybody.

-The Gerald

Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Tribe Called Quest Knows What I Am Talking About

“Stress.” It’s all there…there in that terrible little six letter word. It’s like a little word in black, size 11 Calibri (Body) font text that grows from within you at times that are tough. Times when nothing seems to be going right, instead feeling like a ball of fiery ash, rolling down the side of the side of a volcano, picking up size and momentum as it goes. Pretty overwhelming that little six letter word can get…

Some people let the stress take over their lives, and eventually just give up. Some people will inebriate themselves in continuous glasses of merlot every evening, just to help them forget about those stresses that seem to plague their lives, even if just for a short while. They know and accept that tomorrow will begin a new day, sure to be haunted in a shroud of stress. And then there are those who rise to the occasion, welcoming stress into their arena. An arena built over the years, as family, friends, and experiences instill ideals and values that do not allow for self pity and sulking. These people live to be challenged, they live for the opportunities that life provides to push themselves to new heights of accomplishment. These are the men and women who train to be ninjas in the mountains of Cuba! You still payin’ attention? That was just a joke about the ninjas; I don’t think they really train in Cuba…

I guess my point is that most of us let stress get to us and put us into a funky mood, only having a negative attitude about your day. I know I do it quite a bit, but it seems to help if you step back from your miserable day for a minute and try to picture the day’s challenging events as just that…challenges. Then you just line them up on a mental or written list, and start facing each challenge and knockin’ ‘em down one by one! Preferably with throwing stars or a blowgun…

Well, good luck with your life stresses. Just remember that sometimes your stresses will feel like they’re drowning you and you have to sink or swim. So swim.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Katy Perry vs. Zooey Deschanel


Hi, It's Maureen this time, not Jerry, because it might be slightly weird if he was the one posting this but it needs to be addressed, so i'll be the one to do it. So the topic of conversation amongst lots of our friends has been Katy Perry of the "I Kissed A Girl" fame. Ok not her so much as how much she looks like indie actress Zooey Deschanel. And by "looks like" I mean her super twin that was stolen at birth by wild robot monkeys.


You know you realized it too when you were watching So You Think You Can Dance last week. (Kirby, I'm looking in your general direction).



The first and second pictures are Zooey, the third is Katy Perry, click to enlarge.


Thursday, July 17, 2008

For the Love of Football...

Waddup, waddup. Welcome back to a Daily Dose of The Gerald. Today I’d like to touch on a subject in the world of sports, as I recently had a couple of unexpected and somewhat heated conversations with females about it. It is an interesting and somewhat sad topic for me, as Brett Favre has become a legend of football basically right before my own eyes, all of our eyes. His rise to a Hall of Fame caliber quarterback in the NFL has happened in our lifetime, and it has been an awesome growth to witness.

As many of you know, Brett Favre retired after last season, thus ending one of the most storied careers in National Football League history. Now, somebody like that doesn’t just leave the game behind. They can’t, it’s been their life, and especially for someone like him. He’s shattered records, he’s won a Super Bowl, he’s broken wide receivers’ thumbs with his zipline passes, he was in “There’s Something About Mary”, he’s overcome addiction to painkillers, he’s supported his wife through her development of cancer, and he’s mourned the passing of his brother-in-law and his father. And what has helped him get through all of this? That’s right, football. He is and always has been a warrior on the field, who also often looks like a kid playing and laughing out there with referees and opposing players.

He’s not just a football player, not even just a legendary football player. He is football. He optimizes everything that football is; strength, honor, hard work, persistence, motivation, emotion, leadership, sweat, blood, tears, respect, passion, and heart. And when it comes to heart, nobody who’s ever seen Brett Favre play the game could ever deny his heart of pure gold. I’d like to point to a Monday Night Football game between The Green Bay Packers and The Oakland Raiders on December 22, 2003. Brett’s father had just passed away the day before in a car accident, possibly cause by a medical condition. Who plays football after that? Brett Favre does, that’s who. He gave his father what may have been his greatest game ever, the day after losing him, and just days before Christmas. His entire team saw the heart in that, and they all lifted their level of play. He passed for four touchdowns in the first half, finishing the game with 399 yards passing and beating Oakland 41-7 on international TV. In an interview after the game, he said, “I knew that my dad would have wanted me to play. I love him so much and I love this game. It's meant a great deal to me, to my dad, to my family, and I didn't expect this kind of performance. But I know he was watching tonight.” I am blessed to have been able to watch that game live.

Now, some have argued that he should stay off of the playing field, as he ponders a return as an active player. Green Bay has said they would welcome him back…as a backup. Give me a break! Someone like that does not ponder a return to the field in a backup capacity. Are you kidding me? He wants to compete, and compete he will if he decides to come back. And if Green Bay doesn’t want him as their starter, then let him go elsewhere! But I will go on record as saying that the Green Bay Packers organization would be a bunch of idiots to not start Brett Favre at quarterback if he was willing to come back, actually they’d also be dumb to let him play elsewhere because he would crush them when he met them on the battlefield. Those who have expressed he should stay off the field have suggested he get a job with ESPN, sip coladas on the beach, also say that it would not be fair for anyone to pick up Brett Favre as their starting quarterback.

They say that the current starting quarterback’s on these teams have worked hard and earned their starting roles, and for someone like Brett Favre with all of his accolades to come in and strip that starting role from them would be ludicrous. Not so much so. Plain and simple, he is AWESOME. Any quarterback in the league should be happy to have the opportunity to learn some of what makes Brett Favre tick. They could all benefit from it, and some of these starting quarterbacks are not doing their teams any favors. Not to name any names, but Josh McCown (Miami), Kyle Boller (Baltimore), and Tarvaris Jackson (Minnesota), Alex Smith (San Francisco)…

Brett Favre is set to be the first inactive player ever to be on the cover of the John Madden Football video game, but will he be? Only time will tell, but if he says he’s got gas in the tank, please do not doubt him. Let him play, or it won’t just be his loss, it’ll be all of our losses.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I May Never Get Married

Nationwide's motto "When life comes at you fast..." hits home pretty well these days. When I was young I could be pretty much carefree, do whatever, not worry about getting hurt (never got hurt), not worrying about being sore from playing too much, not worrying about working to make income so you can survive and take care of yourself, not have to work as hard at my ninja training, and not have to worry about getting MARRIED!

Well, I'm pushing 30 now (that's the only time you'll hear me say that, for at least the next 4 years I'll be 28), and marriage is definitely something that crosses my mind here and there lately. I've also heard peers of mine express that they are feeling pressured to settle down and get married. I get the pressure once in a while from my grandparents, from my parents, and from my friends who are married and now having children of their own (It's so crazy, it feels like we were just children ourselves just yesterday). So now I'm getting the, "Hey, Jerry just calling to say hi, and sooo... Matt and Angel just had a son last night, and we just had our daughter recently, and so...when are you gonna have one?" And actually I understand completely.

Ever since my two best friends got married and started having children, I feel kinda like I'm being left out of the club. We grew up together and pretty much did everything together, and now they have different priorities than I do, and they want me to be part of the club. It would also be really awesome if all three of us could have children close in age to grow up together like we did, and we would all be going through the same types of things with our kids at around the same times if they were the same age, which would also be cool.

Well...here's the thing. I'm not ready to get married, not because I don't want to be, but the fact is that I'm not where I want to be in my own life, and I feel like I need to get a full grip on my own life before I ask someone else to share a life. I've heard recently that maybe we haven't found "the one" because our egos are too big and we feel like no one has been good enough, or may ever be good enough. I can definitely understand that because I have felt like that before, but usually I think it's probably true.

That's not to necessarily say that many of these girls are not as good as me, but more so that they are not or have not been compatible with who I am or want. If I were to get married tomorrow, there's only really one person that I would even consider, and that's because she grounds me, keeps me honest, and will break me down in a heartbeat if I step out of line.

I think even for us egotistical guys, there's always going to be a girl who will be "good enough", she will ground you, and when you're with her you'll feel completely satisfied, like there's nothing else out there to look for. You'll finally calm down, settle down, and naturally start to build your own family. Maybe I've added a little bit of a dreamer's touch to the whole story, but hey I'm a dreamer!

I guess what I've been trying to say is just be you. Whatever it is that helps you get through the day and be happy, do that. Don't rush into what you're not ready for, or with someone you're not sure about, 'cause chances are that you'll just end up regretting it. Whoever you end up with will accept you for who you are, I mean you shouldn't be frequenting bars and clubs anymore, or getting drunk all of time, but once you've found someone, it's other things that will make you happy. Now go forth and continue with your life, as I continue with my path to Ninja Mountain.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Team Keating Day

Team Keating Day, Team Keating Day, what a wonderful event to have two months after May... A day when family and friends alike will be merry and gay (mostly just Shannon will be gay, Jimmy will be merry, Jessica will be boring and weak, and Jerry will be busy winning...everything).

Team Keating Day is a day that comes to us once a year. It's inception was last July, and it was pretty good then, but looks to reach new heights this year. We will have a plethora of team games, great food, and stories to tell for years. My siblings and I came up with the idea as a way to spend some quality time together. We are all older now, working in the real world, and such, so it's not always easy to get together. Once the idea for a Team Keating Day came up, my sister Shannon just ran with it, planning events that test our ninja skills instilled at birth (some of our ninja skills stronger than others...) as well as our alcohol consumption abilities (Shannon may now be a full-blown alcoholic through her yearlong Team Keating Day training regimen), setting up tents for guests to crash in overnight( as there would be a slight consumption of alcohol involved in the day's activities), and even creating a trophy for the event. It's a great way to bond with each other, and also invite some close friends into the world of Team Keating.

The idea is not a new one, people have been having family reunions for years, but it's a great idea and can really help families get together, let off some steam, and have a good time. In this world of war and hate, high ass gas prices, typhoons and earthquakes, Hillary not getting out of the race when she should, the ninjas still warring with the samurai, Batman coming out of the closet (it will happen, Donny...) it's good to get together, have a good time, and remember what's really important in this world of ours. I may not spend as much time with the family as I should, and I should be better about that, but one thing's for sure, I won't ever miss a Team Keating Day.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Who's the Coolest? Me, That's Who.

IIIIIIIIIItttttttttt'ssssssssssss Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyy!

Good morning, and welcome to WJReeZy live on the radio! Yes, I need a radio show...or maybe not. So, I've been a pretty boring guy as of late. Not going out much at all, haven't even had a drink in a bit. I've been trying to focus on work, as well as some other endeavors that I had temporarily dropped the ball on.

I've decided through much advice and coaching from people around me, that if I'm going to make any moves it's gotta be now. It's time to start "walking the talk" instead of just talking all of the time (I'm pretty good at talking all of the time). In the beginning it will be easier to stay motivated, but it will definitely get harder to push myself over time. Finding ways to keep going, and having a support system will be important for me.

I haven't done research on the subject, but I'm willing to bet that the majority of successful people in this world have had some sort of support system, whether it be friends, family, wife, girlfriend, robot monkeys, etc. A good support system will help keep you honest, keep you on a straight path, pick you up when you're down, bring you back down to earth when you're getting too confident, and overall just be there for you.

Luckily for me, I do have a great support system, full of friends and family who push me, give me new ideas, shoot down my bad ideas, and let me know that no matter what happens, I'll always be the coolest person they know... Okay, time to get back to business. Have a good day everybody, and remember...I'm the coolest person you know.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Batman Vs. Iron Man

Today I'd like to bring an ongoing debate I've been having with one Donnie Nussbaum about whether or not it's okay to enjoy a massage from a man when you are in fact a man ( a straight man). Actually, let's save that one for another time...

We have actually also been having a debate about wealth and fortune. In one corner we have Bruce Wayne, maybe better known as Batman. In the other corner we have Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man. Both are fictional characters that command significant fortunes, but which has the grander fortune??

My initial thought was that Tony Stark would be the wealthier of the two, as Stark Industries is a defense contractor, supplying the best weapons to the U.S. military, also indirectly supplying weapons to other countries in the world, and is based in New York City. Wayne Industries is also a defense contractor, based out of Gotham City. So, I'm originally thinking that Bruce Wayne has Gotham City money and Tony Stark has international money, deeming him the more wealthy fictional character, and then Ms. Suzanne Sanderford sheds some light to the topic by providing a link to the Forbes Fictional Fifteen, listing the top fifteen wealthiest fictional characters yearly. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbes_Fictional_15)

As it turns out, Forbes disagrees with me and has Bruce Wayne coming in at No. 8 on the list with an estimated fortune of $7 Billion, leaving Tony Stark behind at the No. 10 spot with an estimated fortune of $6 Billion. Soooooo, I guess that would make Donny right and Jerry wrong...unless anybody else might be able to provide documented proof otherwise?? Or maybe Tony Stark should just teach Bruce Wayne a lesson by beating his ass, just like Superman did...

Monday, May 26, 2008

Wouldn't It Be Cool If There Really Were Robot Monkeys?

DO YOUR JOB, DUDE! What the hell is wrong with some people? One thing I cannot stand is a person who displays his/her laziness in the workplace by hiding behind, "That's not in my job description..."

These people should all be replaced by robots or monkeys, or maybe even robot monkeys, as I'm sure we could train monkeys and robots to just follow a specific job description, no human common sense and basic decision-making abilities needed. Everybody runs into little things at work that are not necessarily their responsibility, but if they just spent the few minutes to complete, would really help everything run more smoothly.

It might be something like filling in some blanks on a form that was supposed to be there, taking a phone call for somebody else because they're busy, helping out other team members when they're in a bind or in the weeds, doing something nice for Jerry, you know...

They are usually simple things, but can make other people's lives easier and they'll always remember you as someone who helps out, instead of someone who bitches out.

On a brighter note, I watched a movie the other night that was awesome. It was suggested by my mother, and I would also suggest it to you all. It's called "The Great Debaters" and is based on a true story about a black college's debate team during the civil rights movement. It was very moving, and made me open my eyes for a couple of hours to challenges that many others have had to face in their lifetimes, finding a way to somehow overcome and still be successful.

I mean, some of the things that went on would literally make you sick, and yet many were able to endure the suffering and find a way to come out on top. It really puts things in perspective, as the challenges we face in being successful today are nothing compared to what it took for the blacks to find success during The Civil Rights Movement.

I don't have to worry about lynch mobs, the KKK, being considered an equal, etc. So, let's try to stay away from excuses like, "I can't because I have kids now", or "I'm married now, so I can't", or "I'm so tired from working a 12 hour shift", just don't say it, and don't think it either. You would be counting yourself out because you don't think it's possible to be successful or you're just too lazy to find out.

That just doesn't make any sense. I mean, how would you feel if your kids end up adopting the same way of thinking when they get older? You would be a big reason why they either give up on their hopes later, or decide they don't want to be like you and find success that way. Be a role model, be successful, do something great in your life, be alive, and have a good time with it along the way. We do have that opportunity today that many did not have in the past. Take advantage of it.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

You Can Learn A Lot From Your Friends

You can get almost anything you want if you know how to ask... Well, maybe not anything, but it's definitely a good idea to be cautious of how you ask for something. Telling someone to give it to you is never a good idea, unless you're The Ninja Emperor. In case you're wondering, yes, I am The Ninja Emperor...

Whether it be advice, an object, attention, work to do, intercourse, the world, or a date with The Gerald, there's always a good way to ask and then some not-so-good ways to ask. The good way to ask may not always get you a "yes" answer, but at least the askee will consider what you're asking. The bad ways to ask will usually get the askee defensive or non-cooperative.

Example: Just this past Friday I'm driving to dinner with a friend, and she says to me, "Jerry, I think I'm awesome and I deserve all of your attention, and if you even think about answering your phone from here to dinner or back, I'll jerk the wheel and send us both into the cliffs of George Washington Parkway!" Wow. That's when I really realized that I don't need a girlfriend after all. I get all of the great perks of having a relationship with a high maintenance chick already!

So I explained to her that I am in fact The Ninja Emperor and that you can't talk to me like that. She abruptly changed her tune and began to ask everything in a much more pleasant manor. It was almost as if she had developed a glow about her (like the glow that some of the soap opera stars get that make them look like angels). I couldn't even say "no" to her anymore, so when she asked me to teach her the secrets of the Ninja, I was lulled almost into a dreamy state and agreed.

Okay, so I went off on a random story, but the message is simply to be weary of the manner by which you ask things, no matter what it is that you're asking. You will get a better, more cooperative response, and many times will even get a "yes" (even when you're asking for ancient sacred ninja secrets).

Friday, May 16, 2008

Ronnnn-reeey...I'm so Ronnnnrrreeeeyyy

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... Man, lately somebody's been feeling lonely... I'm not gonna say who, but his name starts with a "G", ends with a "D" and rhymes with "Awesomest in the whole wide werald!"

I think maybe it's about that time for...DUN DUN DUUUUUUUHN...a girlfriend.

Though the single life is definitely pretty awesome, no fights about nothing, no answering stupid questions like "Do you think I'm pretty?", no obligations that somebody else made for you, no explaining why you're home so late after a night out with the guys, no justifying going out with the guys, no jealousy over your attractive female friends (I guess I can kind of understand, I do have some pretty fly female friends), the list goes on.

Buuuuuut, having said all of that, somehow I miss it a little, and I bet it's possible to find a girl who's not overly jealous, not too high maintenance, and is an advocate of spooning. One of those girls that you can be friends with and just chill, a situation where it makes you happy just to make them happy. I used to think that maybe I was just being too picky or asking too much, but then some of my close friends started finding girls that fulfilled everything they could have possibly wanted and more even.

I'm not saying they have "perfect" relationships, but genuine they do have. Genuine is what you need, I've dated too many girls who just wanted me for my looks until they found out it was only the lighting (I've figured out all of the places that have lighting that favor my appearance and only take dates there in a rotation).

Now there's also the advice that you don't want to look for someone, 'cause you'll never find the right one because your looking. It just has to happen, if it hasn't already. Well, that's frustrating. Screw it, maybe I'll go desperate and have all of you send me suggestions and hone numbers on who I should date, a la Michael from "The Office...

Good luck to me, I'll keep you posted on "The Search for The Gerald's Eternal Servant!"

Immigration Issue

I met with a woman today looking for a home. She's a single mother with a 4 year old daughter. She's from Sierra Leone and came over to the U.S. through a process initiated by the Red Cross and the U.S. Immigration Service a couple of years ago. The program is apparently set up so that U.S. officials can go over to Sierra Leone and execute a number of interviews with local peoples of the country who may qualify for refugee status.

Well, she's not able to procure an apartment home with us, nor probably any other property management institution in the area, and probably a good portion of the continental U.S. She has no form of valid photo identification issued by either the state or the federal governments. She was originally processed when she came over in New York, as were many others in her situation. She was then issued a photo id card for employment eligibility and told she would have the same legal rights as other immigrants.

Well her i.d. expired in '07, it is now April 24, 2008 and she is SOL here in the U.S. of A. with no dice. She can't get a driver's license, she can't open another bank account, and if the check card for her current checking account expires, well she may be screwed there too. She also cannot be approved for an apartment home because she can't really prove she is who she says she is. Tough problem, huh?

Possible Solutions??

I asked the woman to go to the immigration services office tomorrow. She insists that she must make an appointment first, so I urged her to do so for tomorrow, and not to take "no" for an answer. I asked her to show up there no matter what, and never to take "no" for an answer when it came to her rights. I asked her to get in front of an immigrant service official and put him on the phone with me. I will then explain her situation and ask him to get her an authorized letter extending the expiration date on her employment permit. We could then process her for an apartment.

Bigger Problem??

There is a much bigger problem here. I know she is not the only one in this situation, can I help them?? Probably not, but there could be a solution to at least part of the problem. This area is probably full of people in this poor situation, as we are in the DC metropolitan area. Is it possible, as much of a headache it may turn out to be, to contact the Red Cross and the Immigration Service and come together to house these people legitimitally? Could we come together with the other major property management institutions in the area and have the Red Cross and the Immigration Service set up clinics around the area where they can present their expired identification and be given extensions? Could we have property management representatives on hand to help these individuals find housing that they qualify for based on income? Some of them may even have been able to build credit with bank accounts they procured when they arrived here. Because of the real estate boom in the last few years, many property management companies have somewhat high vacancy rates, so...we have the homes, we should find a way to fill them with good people trying to live a real life...

Gerald A. Keating

Monday, May 12, 2008

When Will My Dreams Become My Reality?

Phew! Long weekend for me, it was a nice and relaxing retreat from the everyday grind. Now me thinks it's time to get back to work, make some moves and take care of some business, player!

Opportunities present themselves to us everyday, we just have to be prepared to notice them and take full advantage of them when they do appear. You see, opportunity is not really going to knock. It'll just be there momentarily, waiting for you to recognize it. If you don't, then it will pass, just like those two gorgeous, lingerie-clad bombshells that keep taunting me to follow them to bedroom. I hesitate for just a second to judge the reality of the situation before deciding I just want to see what happens. By the time I get to the room, they're gone. Everytime, man! It's always right after I drink this nighttime tea that I got from a witch that lives in van down by the river. Wait a minute, who was that witch anyways...

Okay, I guess the moral of this little side story is that when the opportunity to buy tea from a witch who lives in a van down by the river presents itself, don't buy the tea...actually just don't approach any van down by the river that witches live in. That seems like a good rule of thumb.

Okay, back to reality. So, opportunities will present themselves on a daily basis. Figure out which one's you're interested in exploring, and run with it. Just don't get caught hesitating too much, before you know it those opportunities will pass you by, you'll be pushin' 30 with no monumental achievement to speak of, all of your friends will already be married with kids, and you're still trying to figure out what you want to do with your life...

Alas, there is still hope. Russell Simmons could walk in here tomorrow and tell me that he wants me to take over Def Jam! Damnit! Witches and their tea!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

It Was a Crazy Game of Poker...

Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. It's actually pretty good advice, and I have been known to disregard such advice in the past as I'm sure many of you also have... but you should especially heed such advice when your name is a one letter name that starts with a "J", ends with a "J", and rhymes with "J". For those of you who may not be familiar with the term, it's derived from the game of poker, meaning to know when you have a hand worth playing, and also to know when your hand is weak and should be tossed away. Holding onto a weak hand can sometimes benefit you, if you find good cards on the board that compliment your hand, but the chances of this are slim. Usually holding on to a weak hand and playing it, only means you're going to lose some money. When you have a good hand you still have to be weary of your opponents, as one of them may have a stronger hand than yours. Play your cards tight, and your chances of winning always go up, play your cards foolishly, and you may just lose your ass.

This advice also relates to real life situations, as we are always posed with important decisions to make that can change our lives in a positive or negative manner. For instance, let's say you stumble upon somebody's blog. Let's also say that the persons responsible for the blog just happen to be REALLY AWESOME. Now, maybe you don't know that the people you're dealing with are as awesome as they are and you decide to take stabs at them with well thought out (the hand you thought was strong) statements. What happens next is a bit of a blur, as a flurry of samurai maneuvers and ninja tactics blindside you, slicing and dicing with swift verbal swords, pounding you repeatedly with fierce ninja-like English skills. Alas, it seems as though you may have retreated, tail tucked between your legs, and having learned a lesson about trying to attack a Ninja Master and a Samurai warrior, backed by their oh-so-stealth Peers of Mass Destruction!

Again I say, know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Let's Break It Down For Just Moment

Destined for normalcy?? Could it be that I am "just like everyone else"? Wait a minute, that might be one of the most unintelligent things I've ever written... Nobody is just like everyone else. And now that I've thought about it for 1.2 seconds, no chance I'm "normal". I am lucky enough to have many acquaintences and friends, all ages, races, sizes, personalities, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. They are all very different and all have something to "bring to the table".

The only people in this world (unfortunately most people seem to be like this) who accept living "normal" lives and who think that's the way things are "supposed to be", are ignorant and blind to what life is really all about. The meaning of life, in case none of you have figured out yet, is figuring out what your part to play is. Figuring out what would fulfill your life for you. Everyone has a gift, and usually their gift ties in somehow with their dreams. If you spend your life ignoring your gifts and your dreams, then who are you?

Well, fortunately for me I do know what my strengths are, and I do know what my dreams are, and I take steps everyday to reach those dreams. I'm a big dreamer and the type of person who would never doubt that those dreams will come true.

It has been said recently that I may have "Napolean Issues", as anyone who would "charge a large sum of money just for the privilege of hanging out with him" apparently is a short guy with a power trip. Well, this is the part of today's blog where we explain the meaning of "humor".

Humor is defined as: a comic, absurd, or incongruous quality causing amusement. Guess what, all of the stuff that I write about how awesome I am, those are jokes. I know that some of you, or at least one of you is having trouble grasping the idea that I wasn't being serious about charging people to hang out with me, and in fact you're probably really excited to think that you now have an opportunity to hang out with me for free!

Next on our agenda for today is the matter of me "dispensing advice that no one wants to know and cataloguing what I eat without caring that no one wants to know". Well, the thing about the advice I give, is that it's mostly advice that I need to take. You see, this whole blog started out as a simple morning email. I was in a bad mood one day, and to catch a quick laugh I sent out a mass email that simply said, "Your Message of the Day: Jerry is Awesome." I did it because it made me laugh, changed my demeanor, and actually helped me to be more productive that day. Apparently it also made other people laugh in the middle of their days, which somewhat changed their demeanor and added to the quality of their day. I don't write this stuff everyday for you, I do it for me, but if it cheers other people up or motivates other people to make improvements to their own lives...then that's what is really awesome.

And finally, I'm starting to think I've been writing this whole time about events that don't really matter, i.e. the shattering glass tray on the stovetop... Maybe I should be writing about events that really matter... Maybe I should write about important stuff like the presidential race, the war, religion, orrrrrrr maybe not.

Politics in general are all a big mess, and nothing I say right now is going to change the fact that we put so much time and effort into picking the next jackass that's going to represent our country to the rest of the world and take the fall when things don't turn out right. Maybe we should talk about which religion is the right religion, or if Jesus was black or white, or olive, or purple. Maybe we should talk about the fact that we spend billions and billions of dollars every year to build the next machines that can kill more and more people at a time. Maybe we should talk about the fact that this country is full of people less fortunate than us, people who don't have homes or food, no medication for the illnesses they contract, and that we're more concerned with the homeless in China than we are in the homeless people who live just down the street. Maybe we should talk about public schools only teaching to the standardized tests and not really teaching kids about the things that are really going to matter.

You see, now I'm not so happy because I'm worrying about all of the things that really do matter, that I can't change today. But what gets me by everyday are the little lessons I learn in stupid and humorous little occurences, lessons that can be used later to really make a difference in the things that really matter. It all matters, don't take any of your life for granted, learn something new everyday, and put it to some good use.

Have a good day everybody, and remember, life will throw insults at you all the time, sometimes in the form of anonymous commenters on your blog. They are there for a reason, don't let them get you down, let them instead motivate you in a positive manner. It's not what makes me great that I'm concerned with. It's what's going to make me the greatest that I'm looking for.

Monday, May 5, 2008

E-Mail Subscriptions

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I Am Not Unlike A Super Hero

Good morning, hope you all enjoyed the weather this weekend, pretty nice. So I've been noticing some battles going on in the trenches of my blog comments. Interesting stuff you'll read there... I actually really appreciate the comments, as it means you're reading my entries. And, while most might retaliate against such criticisms as you might find in the comments sections, I appreciate them.

Did Jesus go without criticism? Did Martin Luther King Jr. go without criticism? Did Ghandi go without criticism? Did Superman go without criticism when Batman almost beat him in an issue of The Dark Knight Returns released in 1986? And so...understandably, The Gerald will not avoid criticisms. Really though, I can learn from such criticisms. I am, in fact, not perfect. I know, I know, you're shocked.

Well, it's true and I have accepted it, and I vow everyday to train hard and hone my ninja skills to near perfection, so that I may one day be able to defeat The Twin Samurai!! To be continued...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I'm #1!

Welcome back, where have you guys been? Okay, I've been slacking. Maybe I've been lacking motivation, but I've had time to reflect a little and am starting to focus on what to do with my own life.

I've always got all this great advice for everybody, maybe it's time for me to put as much of my own advice as possible and make some things happen! So... I'm going to put on a Superman costume, or maybe a cross between a superman and a ninja costume... Then I'm going to learn how to fly, by jumping off the cliffs of The Grand Canyon!! Wait a minute...I'm not doin' that, that's crazy! 

Okay, I'm going to write a list of "things to do" and strengthen all the pillars in the foundation of my life, start knockin' 'em, out one by one. Once you've gotten complete control of your life, then you can start chasing the dreams. I'm gettin' that Aston Martin, betta believe that. But I think I'll wait until I can walk into a car dealership in England and pay cash for the car of my dreams, without so much as a bit of hesitation. Don't worry, I'll make sure to notify you via email, text message, phone calls (pre-recorded mass phone calls), planes flying with banners, a big gorilla hanging on the side of the Empire State Building with a sign on it, to let you know when I'll be driving by your house to show off my new status defining toy. Damn, that's gonna be tight!

Okay, back down to Earth, Jerry. I've been wanting to say that I very much appreciate the people who read and comment about my rantings and imaginations everyday. People always ask about it, joke about it, sometimes even criticize it. I really appreciate it all. You would be shocked at how much this type of therapy can change a person. I get to wear my emotions not only on my sleeve, but also in writing. Then people that I know and people that I don't know give me feedback and insight. It's crazy, even just how much this world has changed in the last ten years. Anyway, thank you all for motivating me by reading my random thoughts everyday and letting me know that you do, it's pretty good ego fodder. Ha! He's got jokes, jokes and more jokes! 

That Jerry guy is awesome.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I'm Feeling A Little Crazy Today

What will be the legacy of me?? You ever wonder that? Okay, your mental question to yourself was probably in more proper english, but really...ever wonder what you'll leave behind? Once again my mother has casually reached into my mind and turned on a light.

She reminds me that although many of us feel like today is never going to end, and maybe take our own lives for granted. She reminds me that we will get old and eventually we will all pass on.

I'm watching replays of the Chicago Bulls run to glory in the 95/96 NBA season, and seeing Michael Jordan as he used to rise above the rim and conquer the basket over and over no matter what. Now he is older and his days above the rim have passed him by, but the legacy he leaves behind is immortal.

The thing is that time will pass, and opportunities for you to find greatness in yourself will also come and go. I'm not always going to be young and full of energy to go out and get things done, make things happen. My ninja maneuvers are not always going to be a strong as they are now. My ability to woo any woman will weaken in time... And don't let yourself get too tangled up relying on the time you still have either, because no matter your age, wealth, health, or superpowers (and I have many), tomorrow is promised to none of us.

Take hold of your life, your goals, your dreams, as you are the one who gets to decide how you are remembered. You are the one who gets to decide what you leave behind. And I am the one who will flirt with the idea of world peace, while hocking my "Peace Dove" t-shirts.

Monday, April 28, 2008

E-Mail Subscriptions

If you signed up for the e-mail subscription and did not recieve one this morning don't worry - I'm working on it. I'll let you know when this service is up and running. You may have to sign up again, I know, I know, it's annoying. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get A Daily Dose of the Gerald.

-The Gerald's Blog Master.

I Thought I Knew Better Than Everyone...Until My Mom Told Me I Didn't

Waddup, waddup, hope everybody was able to enjoy the weekend and the nice weather we were blessed with. It doesn't really happen too often 'round these D.C. Metro parts, so take advantage of it when it happens.

So, my mother called to say hello yesterday after a two week long work trip to Hawaii (tough life, huh?), we usually have pretty insightful conversations. She brought up my morning emails and she told me how she enjoys them, but made note of an important lesson. I tend to be a rather stubborn person, anybody who knows me will agree. I also seem to enjoy expressing my stubborn opinions often and to as many people as possible. My morning emails are a prime example of this, as I express my thoughts and opinions to a rather wide audience daily.

She mentioned that I should not expect everyone to agree with my views, as she does not always agree with them, and that I should be willing to see and understand other opinions and points of view. Well, good news...I do.

Some of my opinions may just be rants, some may be educated guesses, some of them I've learned through experience, some through debate, and some just from listening to other people converse. I will be stubborn once I've formed my own opinions through all of these different avenues of knowledge and wisdom, well at least until somebody proves me wrong, but I definitely do not expect people to just take whatever I say to be gold either. What I do expect is that my morning insight, coupled with jokes here and there, will spark thought. Too often I think we find ourselves stressing about stupid crap, arguing over opinions on religion, or politics, "did Jesus really exist?" or "are we ready for a black president?". These are the kinds of topics that litter our time and our thoughts. What we should be more concerned with are the things that we can do to beter our quality of life.

It doesn't really matter if Jesus really was who the bible says he was, it doesn't really matter what color or sex our president is either. It's the messages in the bible that are important, it's how we guide our president with our voices and our efforts that is important. Who cares what God's real name is? If you want to call him Allah, then by all means, praise to Allah! If you like the ring of God better, then pray to God! If you're into spaceships and Scientology, then try not to publicize it like Tom Cruise has done...

Everybody is always going to have their own opinions, based on events in their lives that formed them. Don't discount anybody's views just because they're different than your own, instead try to understand where they are coming from, maybe you'll learn something new.

On that note I'm gonna hit the sack. Hopefully I'll have a continuation dream from last night where I took over the world and subjected everybody to my views and opinions...I had a little mustache, and rows and rows of ninja warriors marching in unison behind me as I rode atop my white liger! It was awesome...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Excuses, Excuses

Hello everybody. Sorry I was not able to grace you with any rants, insight, or humor yesterday. I had to be at work early, and needed to be on point, as I had a long day ahead of me.

Excuses aside, I did miss sharing my ridiculous thoughts with you and hearing what you think about them, I know, I know, what I really missed was feeding my ego... Speaking of excuses, I have been thinking about the word recently. It has come up here and there with the "don't gimme excuses" type talk.

First of all, I was always brought up not to have excuses, but just to figure out a way and always get it done. This was drilled into my head over and over as I grew from childhood into my teenage years, and then into the statue-like body, god like face, and genius mind you experience today as The Gerald... That was another one of my jokes that some of you will still take seriously.

I digress...excuses used to mean any reason that something could not or would not get done. No matter the task or the circumstances surrounding a task, it was always, "no excuses, just get it done", or "why didn't you do what I asked, and no excuses". Now, after hearing that I would always think, "so what the hell am I supposed to do now? I'm not allowed to say what the reason is..." Wrong. You are allowed to say, but don't ever just settle with not being able to get something done, no matter the reason.

For instance, there are a couple of people that I probably need to open up to more and explain how I really feel about certain things, and I haven't yet. My excuses may sound like this, "I haven't had time lately", or, "it hasen't been the right time", or, "I'm waiting for her to ask me what's on my mind". The list goes on... Now, my actual reasons might be that I'm scared of the consequences, or maybe I'm just lacking confidence.

You see, excuses are stretched and deranged explanations for why you either didn't do something or are not going to do because you don't want to. Reasons, on the other hand, are just challenges that you need to overcome to get what you need or want. Imagine not getting the girl (or guy) that might be the one for you just because you were scared. Imagine not becoming the billionaire music mogul because you thought it was impossible and didn't want to get off your ass and try. Imagine Jerry never hanging out with you because you just couldn't bring yourself to fork over the $1500 (cash) membership fee to be in the "Cool Club". It's really not that hard, just sit down one day and figure out what it is that you need or want to make you genuinely happy. Next, figure out what realistic steps you can take to get there.

Eventually you'll see that anything is possible, just doesn't always seem that way. (I say that and yet I still have a problem following it. Not so perfect after all, are we Jerry?) Have a good day today, everybody, and make someone smile today, it'll make you feel pretty good.

Jerry

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Maureen Is Awesome

Morning all. Today, let's talk about Maureen's shoes. Maureen is a good friend of mine, and by good friend I mean just about the best kind of friend you can have, and she's got shoes...lots of shoes. Some are attractive, some are okay, and some are even disturbing (who wears shoes covered in feathers??). Well the thing I admire is that no matter what other people (including me) think about her shoes, she rocks them with confidence and pride. This is a very important trait to have or to learn. Ultimately, the only one you need to make sure is happy is you. If it makes you happy to wear it, then rock it like you mean it. No matter what reactions you may get from others, no matter who expresses their disagreement in the fashionability of said shoes, just rock 'em. The same goes for anything, if it is what you want, if it is how you want to represent yourself, if it is what makes you happy, then be proud of it. Life is short, live it the way you want to remember it.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I Might Be The Smartest Man Alive

Good afternoon everybody. I'm off today, so I took the liberty of sleeping into the early afternoon, niiiiiiiiiiiice. So I learned a good lesson on Saturday. I had to work, and those of us who work together on Saturdays usually bring in breakfast items to cook and start the day off right. We had bacon, eggs, blueberry waffles, pillsbury grands, mmmmmmmmmmmmm! So they asked me to cook the eggs, even though I definitely mentioned that I don't cook. Then they left me alone in the kitchen...biiiiiiig mistake my friends.

I couldn't find a pan to cook the eggs in, so I went in to MacGyver mode and pulled out one of the round glass cookware dishes that you cook pies in the oven with. Now, one might think that if it can go in the oven, it can go on the stove...not the case at all. About 2 minutes into scrambling eggs, the dish exploded with a loud "POP" and glass shot everywhere!

Amazingly, not one piece of glass hit me, though I was standing right in front of it when it happened. This is when I first learned of my super powers. I just knew there had to be something special about me, and now I know that projectiles flying through the air at lethal speeds choose oh so wisely to take a path that goes around The Gerald, rather than through him.

Okay, back to reality, the real lesson I learned is not to let The Gerald be in the kitchen alone. What I needed was a teammate to help guide me through the journey that was the scrambling of eggs. Everything works better with teamwork, work projects, video games, presentations, brainstorming ideas, sports, raising money to send Jerry to Africa for a 12 day safari, leasing apartments, selling cars (especially Volkswagens from Greenway VW in Alexandria), partying, the list goes on and on. We sometimes lose sight of the fact that a team will do things better together than one person working alone or even working against everyone around them.

Friendly competition is great, but when it becomes cutthroat and starts to create animosity and bad attitudes toward eachother, only bad can come from it. Too often leaders try to use negative reinforcement to motivate people, it may work temporarily, but definitely not in the long run. It is also not good for team morale, as tempers may start to flare in the workplace.

I suggest positive motivation, and the promotion of teamwork, especially in the workplace. Have the tea come together and figure out strategy together, teach them to play off of each other towards a common goal and watch how beautifully they can grow together almost into a well-oiled machine once chemistry is established. Offer the team some sort of reward if they reach the goals set for them. Something different, like a bbq or a teambuilding event (paintball, theme park, fishing trip, night out on the town), these activities will only build on the team chemistry and ultimately improve on the potential of the team. And finally, just remember, "Teamwork Makes Dreams Work", may be corny but it's completely true. Have a good day everybody.The Gerald

Friday, April 11, 2008

It's Friday.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIttttttttttttttttt's Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!! Networking, networking, networking, oh how important networking is. I have been blessed with the ability to comfortably communicate with just about anyone. It hasn't been until just the last couple of years that I've started to realize that maybe I have a gift. In growing into my newly discovered ability, I have begun to learn how much more resourceful, productive, and valuable one can be with a good network. When presented with a situation in which you are surrounded by people you don't already know, you should take advantage of the opportunity to meet as many people as you can, without seeming like a weirdo. Don't bounce around the metro station wide-eyed and excited about meeting everybody, talking about, "Who are you, and what do you do?" It might not turn out so well... Just introduce yourself to new people in somewhat of a casual way, always with a smile on your face, not a joker smile, just a smile. Be genuine, let people know through your body language and tone of your voice that you are being real, and not just being a smart$$.

Once you've begun to create new relationships and build your network, don't be afraid to take advantage of your new resources. Let people know also that if ever they need anything, you'll be more than happy to help out any way you can. One thing you may also start to find is that the more people that know you and what you do, the more potential you have to do some more business. You never know where business could come from, all you can do is advertise yourself as much as possible, in a classy way, and wait to see how the opportunities will arise.

Now, in the spirit of networking, and proving that it can always help to build a new network, I'd like to ask my new network for some creative ideas. I know a lot of you personally, and some I don't. I know that A Daily Dose of The Gerald sometimes gets forwarded to others; friends, family, etc. I work at an apartment community in Annandale, Virginia called The Parliaments. We have the best product in the area and I am completely confident with that. Now, we have had too many vacant apartments over the course of the last few months, not any more than our neighboring communities, but that is no excuse. It may be true that the vacancy in the area is high, but that doesn't mean that there's not business to be had, just means we have to come up with new ways to attack the beast. If you work for a competing property management institutes, please refrain from sharing secret company tactics, as you don't need to risk having issues at work because of it, but otherwise I would really appreciate a fresh perspective on ways to market our community more effectively. I appreciate your time, and look forward to hearing from you. Have a good weekend everybody.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Taking Your Life For Granted, Not My Own, Obviously.

Good morning everybody, it's time to wake up and get busy. I'd like to start with an apology to my little sister, Shannon. It seems I have embarrassed her with yesterday's email. She's always wanted to be famous, I guess just not because of her habit of blaming the dog for her unpleasantries... So please erase yesterday's post from your memory. Didn't work, yeah I didn't think it would, but I tried.

So, lately I have been thinking about life and it's delicateness. Too much I think the majority of us take life for granted, as if we're going to live forever and anything that we're too lazy to do today, we'll just do tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is never guaranteed, though we'd like to think so and often live as if it is. How many of you have thought, "man, if I could go back to high school knowing what I know now, I would do a whole lot of things differently..."? Well, that's because we know now that we took those years for granted. You have a choice to live life the way you want to live it, but realize that when you get to the end of the road, whether you're expecting it or not, that you'll look back on your life and the things you've accomplished, the relationships you've built, and the things you wish you'd done differently, but you won't be able to go back and change anything. Don't do that to yourself, you don't deserve that, nobody does.

Do you really want to look back and think, "man, I can't believe I put myself through all of that torture staying in that abusive relationship because I thought it was better for the kids", or, "I wish I had confessed my love for her and asked her to marry me", or even, "why didn't I talk David Hillman into investing in my jazz club idea". (I know, that was cheap, but I'd regret not having taken the opportunity to throw that out there in the hopes that he would somehow, some day read this and be inspired).

First of all, nobody should put themselves through an abusive relationship, especially for the kids. How will your kids grow up respecting you or themselves knowing that you don't respect yourself? Stand up for yourself and for your kids, because even though you might think you're sheltering them from your unhappiness, you're not. You're only teaching them not to stand up for themselves and you will regret it later.

Secondly, I know there have been someone in some of your lives that you were completely in love with, but for fear of rejection you kept it to yourself, only to doom yourself to a life of mediocrity and someone that you struggle to be with day in and day out. My best friend, Bo showed me that no matter the circumstances, go for the one you know is right for you. He went right after the one that he knew would make him happy, even though she probably could have had anybody and she tried to pass him off in the beginning to a friend. He was persistent, and I think him and his wife will appreciate his determination for the rest of their lives. Okay, okay, wrapping it up...

Two last things, first I'd like you to check out this video when you have a chance on your free time (please don't try to watch it at work. I don't wanna get fired because I had a bunch of people spend an hour of their workday watching a video). It's the final lecture by a 47 year old college professor named Randy Pausch who is dying of cancer, and it is definitely eye opening. (www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HqdnjgkExY) And lastly I'd like to leave you with this quote I read a couple of years ago that has kind of stuck with me.

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."
- Mark Twain

It seems like a good outlook to have, why not? Have a good day everybody.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Stop Blaming The Dog

Ever have anyone pass gas around you and try to pass the blame to the dog? Well, I had that situation happen recently and I don't want to name names, but my sister, Shannon did it and it was horrible! When I confronted her about it, she just kept saying, "It was the LeBleurrrrrrrrr!". I know many of you are probably lost now, but the situation brings up a rather important matter. In the office arena, no matter what the business is, you will find staffs put together as teams. These teams are meant to compliment each other and work together towards the same ultimate goal, each team member playing their part to ensure we do reach that goal.

Well, mistakes do happen and challenges will arise at times, but too often instead of problem-solving being the first reaction, it's finger-pointing and blame-placing that tends to happen before anything else. People seem to be so concerned with making sure others don't think it was their fault, that they sometimes lose sight of the fact that there still is a challenge to deal with. I would suggest that in the future, when an issue comes up, instead of throwing somebody under the bus and thinking the problem is just going to go away, let's first figure out a way to correct the problem and move forward.

Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes (though I my mistakes are very minimal and I'm as close to perfect as it gets...), some mistakes are just more noticeable. So the next time a file gets lost, or your occupancy drops below 97%, or your dodgeball team loses every game in the season, let's try to figure out a solution, and not add to the problem by trying to blame somebody all the time. If you have trouble finding solutions, just ask Jerry, he seems to know everything...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Two Fer Revisted

Morning, peoples! I'm sure most of you are still waking up at your desks, as I currently am, trying to find motivation to be productive today. Well, it is Two Fer Tuesday, so make sure to set those two goals for yourself and try your best to see them through by day's end. Try not to pile on too much for yourself, as it can have the same effect as when you try to put too many sheets of paper through the shredder...it shuts down and then you have a hell of a time un-jamming it. Sometimes it gets so bad you just have to leave it and hope the opportunity to blame someone else comes up.

My two goals for the day will be to be more productive than I was yesterday (I was pretty busy yesterday, time flew by and I didn't get to work on some of the things I need to work on), and to spend some laid back quality time with a good friend. Just chillin with good friends or family after a long and productive day can be very therapeutic. Good friends appreciate you for who you are. Some of you have significant others that you will go home to, others have close friends too hang out with, make sure you let them know that you appreciate them occasionally. Something so simple can mean a lot, especially for old people like me...

Monday, April 7, 2008

Chipotle

Okay, so I was a little upset this morning, just needed to vent. Now, I was still a little grumpy until I was presented with a very intriguing question, "Jerry, where did you get Chipotle from?" What a strange question, I'm eating from a bag that says "Chipotle", she knows I'm eating food from Chipotle, and yet she asks the most mind-blowing question of the day! I didn't even know how to answer the question, I was shocked! I told her it's right around the corner from the factory where they make white meat chickens and dark meat chickens. Have a good evening everybody, and remember, if it looks like Chipotle, it smells like Chipotle, and the bag says Chipotle, it probably came from Chipotle.

Integrity People, Integrity

Happy Monday! I had a nice weekend, full of excitement, stress, anger, newfound motivation, humor, and laziness. It was a roller coaster of emotion and activity! Through the ups and downs, twists and turns, I was reminded of a couple of pretty important lessons in life, well...in my life anyway. We'll start with integrity, it is defined as:

1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values

2 : an unimpaired condition


3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided


Well, you will find that many people in this world do not find the importance in such an important quality as integrity, and instead choose to display immaturity, dishonesty, greed, deceit, and recreant behavior. It is important to learn this virtue of integrity early on in life, as it becomes vital when flirting with success and power especially. Some who find power or success will then use it to poke at the people who may not have supported them in the past. These people are cowards who hide behind their power.

A person with integrity will display the same quality when they're poor and powerless or when they're rich and powerful. You see integrity in leaders everyday, leaders that you respect. Unfortunately you also see the lack of integrity in others everyday, especially in those who have a false sense of what success really is. The second lesson that I was reminded of, I actually got a little chuckle out of it, was that if you are one of those integrity lacking people and you like to throw your minimal power around at the expense of others, then try not to have the audacity to ask one of those people for anything the next day, especially if that person is me.

Most of you are friends of mine, or at least acquaintances. You are because you show integrity and are genuinely good people. I choose to surround myself with good people, because generally good things happen when you are surrounded by good people. So, for those of you who are a friend, I appreciate you for being real and for naturally doing things the right way. And for those of you who will continue to be petty, juvenile, unprofessional, and cocky...when you realize you have hit rock bottom and have your own actions and chosen personality traits to blame, accept it quickly. Maybe then you can still grow up and become a man.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I Love Myself

Good morning to all, and to all a good morning. Sooooooooooo, some of you know I've been attending a weekly class called "Building Champions", more properly deemed by some as "I Love Myself 101". At first I didn't know what to think, and actually started the first class with some hesitation. Once the first class got underway, I realized that I was going to enjoy the class, and that there was a possibility that I'd come out of it loving myself even more! Jokes aside, it really has been a fulfilling course for me. I think I've learned a good amount from both our facilitator (she's pretty darn good) and from the other students in class. Once I was able to shut my own mouth for an extended period of time and others were feeling comfortable enough to open up, I think we all were able to learn new things about each other and ourselves. One of the most important lessons it reinforced for me was about the power of positive thinking. This whole abusive use of email privileges started because I was in a funk one day at work and needed a laugh. Once I got the laugh out, I was able to turn my whole day around. People tend to me more productive when they are happy, and tend to use more creativity in being productive. The positive attitude creates an atmosphere in which positive things are more likely to take place.

Sometimes I think we take our own minds for granted, not realizing how powerful they are. From now on, try to refrain from thinking, "it can't be done", or, "that's never going to work". Instead think, "I know this can work", or, "it can be done, I just need to figure out how...". You'll probably be a little surprised when things start going your way more often, because it seems like such a simple change. It's not always a simple thing to do, this thinking positively, and you're not always going to be in a good mood, conducive to your positive thinking, so just do something to get a quick laugh. Look in the mirror and fake a smile, tell a joke, write a funny email, or just close your eyes and think, "I wonder what it's like to be Jerry"...that should get a smile. Have a good day everybody, I'm gonna go get my self-lovin' on.

April Fools

As many of you may have deduced from not receiving a "Daily Dose of The Gerald" email yesterday, I was off. While many of you were at your desks yesterday, grumpy about it being Monday, wondering why in the world the phones would ring at 9:00AM on the dot, I was in bed sleeping... Well, I thought of something a little clever for yesterday, and since I missed it and we've already deemed "Two Fer Tuesdays", I propose "Make A List Mondays". Monday mornings are often glum and slow, as we are trying to get back into the swing of things after having off the weekend (a luxury that some of you may enjoy). First thing in the morning, as you sip your morning coffee, make a list of things you need to get done for the week. Maybe some phone calls you need to make, meetings you need to schedule/ attend, bills that need to be paid, maintenance on your car that needs to be done, etc. I am very guilty of letting things fall by the wayside, so I will be the first to practice this weekly list.

- Send out morning email (which will be prepared in my evenings and sent out for everyone's guidance and wisdom in the morning)
- Everyday this week, look into the mirror and explain to yourself why you're sooooo awesome.
- Pay car payment, electricity, rent, good-looking people tax
- Answer fan mail
- Get 5 apartment applications and turn them into happy move-ins
- Do homework for my Ninja Masters Program at the secret temple in the shadows of the mystical Mitsubishi Mountains
- Finalize plans to move to Cuba

Have a good day everybody, keep your April Fools pranks somewhat clean, especially while at work, but I want to hear some good stories later...

Friday, March 28, 2008

Positive Thinking Vs. Liars

There is a distinct difference between the positive thinker/ dreamer and a chronic habitual liar.

Positive thinking can be a very powerful tool. You think of goals you would like to accomplish or dreams that you have, you get it in your head that you're going to do what it takes to reach those goals and realize those dreams, you plan your strategy, and then you follow through. I know, I know, I make it sound soooo easy. It's not as easy as snapping your fingers, and you are going to have to work at it, but keeping a positive mindset throughout the process is the key to making it happen. There will be times when it gets rough and you start to think that I'm wrong...come on, who are we kidding? When was the last time I was wrong?

Liar. While on your journey of positive thinking and dream searching, you will often encounter another breed of dreamer called a LIAR. These liars can be dangerous people, as they feed you false information about themselves, false information about the world, and can even make you feel like you might be closer to your dreams than you thought. You must be weary of these folk, as they can get your hopes all the way up, and then all but destroy your motivation when you finally realize it was all a hoax. I'm not saying you should live your life in fear of these Liars. Just keep you eyes open, you'll see them, but they won't see me...creeping through the night like a Ninja of Truth!

Be careful of lies, they can be easy to make, but trying to get yourself out of the mess that lies got you into...not so easy. Have a good day everybody, dream big, and enjoy the beautiful weather today.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Eggs and Chickens

Good morning, and welcome to "A Daily Dose of The Gerald". Sooo, recently while enjoying some of the incredible chicken from Pollo Rico (awesome chicken, and the flan is something special), I was confronted with a question from a co-worker, "does dark meat come from a brown chicken and white meat come from a white chicken??" WHAT?!?! Yes, and brown eggs also come from brown chickens... I was shocked! After thinking about the question for a while, it brought up some valid issues. First of all, for those of you that may be confused right now, all chickens have both white and dark meat in them, just depends on which part of the chicken you get, also hens can lay both brown and white eggs no matter the color of the chicken. Clear?



Okay, so what it brought up is that we can take a lesson from this as it pertains to people. No matter the color, race, sex, sexual preference, hair color, level of awesomeness, we are all basically the same inside. We all have both white meat and dark meat, and we all have the ability to lay both brown and white eggs... Most of us at some point have been guilty of "judging a book by it's cover", and probably continue to do so, but I propose judging a book by it's table of contents at least. How many times has someone judged you before at least opening the book? For example, I'm always getting the "cocky, he must have ten girlfriends, probably gets by on his amazing looks...". Laugh, that was a little bit funny. Have a good day everybody, and do something nice for somebody today, besides reading my email...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

What Would Jerry Do?

I know, I know, I'm a little late with the morning announcements today. Gimme a break, it is "Hump Day"... So I'm sitting here at my desk trying to figure out how I'm going to get through the day..."what would Jerry do??" and it hits me! How can I make today be a better day than yesterday? Simple, raise the bar. Set out to accomplish more than you did yesterday. It doesn't have to be monumental, just something more. Some of my co-workers and friends have already begun their children on a journey to achieve more and more everyday. A new golden lesson has arisen from the depths of The Gerald. Sure to take the "Happy Birthday" song's place as the most sung and popular song in the world, these oh-so-intelligent parents are teaching their children to sing, "I wanna be, I wanna be like Jerry". Ingenious I tell you! Alright, I'm off to see through some new goals, have fun today everybody.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Two for Tuesdays

Hello, hello, They know, they know... I'm so sick wit it! Hello all, and welcome to this installment of The Gerald Speaks, because we all know that never happens... For those of you who have not yet woken up completely, it's Tuesday. For those of you who already knew that...I know, I know, the only exciting things about Tuesday are American Idol and Jerry's morning emails. Tuesday is the day of the week between Monday and Wednesday. The name comes from Middle English Twisday, from Old English Tiwes dæg, named after the Nordic god Tyr, who was the equivalent of the Roman war god Mars, the Greek god Ares, and The Gerald. Ha! I knew it! I pulled that right off of Wikipedia! Crazy the things you can find out about Tuesday by just googling it...

Today will be "Two fer Tusdays", so set two small goals for yourself today that can be accomplished by the end of the day. You'd be surprised at how much of a sense of accomplishment can come from doing just that. Have a good day everybody, and peace to my brothers on welfare, Tupac cares if don't nobody else care...

Monday, March 24, 2008

Ode To Mondays

Oh Monday, how you sneak up and surprise us so abruptly every week, like a ninja hiding around the corner oh so mischievously, ready to jump out and frighten the next passerby... Alas, Monday, I pledge a new outlook towards you. It is not your fault you have been chosen as the first day of the work week, so I vow to embrace you now as the start to a new weekly adventure. Mondays will now be known as the beginning of a new episode, a fresh start and a new chapter in the book of life!

Now, having said all of that, and in the spirit of improving our outlook on Mondays, I also vow to find out not who makes the decision to start construction work on a major roadway during rush hour on a Monday morning...but whoever the moron was that hired that person! Also, when the idea to start construction on a major roadway during rush hour on a Monday was brought up, who was the intelligent jack-in-the-box who thought it was a good idea and approved it! "Woo Saa...", okay I'm better now. Have a good day everybody.

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