I May Never Get Married

Nationwide's motto "When life comes at you fast..." hits home pretty well these days. When I was young I could be pretty much carefree, do whatever, not worry about getting hurt (never got hurt), not worrying about being sore from playing too much, not worrying about working to make income so you can survive and take care of yourself, not have to work as hard at my ninja training, and not have to worry about getting MARRIED!

Well, I'm pushing 30 now (that's the only time you'll hear me say that, for at least the next 4 years I'll be 28), and marriage is definitely something that crosses my mind here and there lately. I've also heard peers of mine express that they are feeling pressured to settle down and get married. I get the pressure once in a while from my grandparents, from my parents, and from my friends who are married and now having children of their own (It's so crazy, it feels like we were just children ourselves just yesterday). So now I'm getting the, "Hey, Jerry just calling to say hi, and sooo... Matt and Angel just had a son last night, and we just had our daughter recently, and so...when are you gonna have one?" And actually I understand completely.

Ever since my two best friends got married and started having children, I feel kinda like I'm being left out of the club. We grew up together and pretty much did everything together, and now they have different priorities than I do, and they want me to be part of the club. It would also be really awesome if all three of us could have children close in age to grow up together like we did, and we would all be going through the same types of things with our kids at around the same times if they were the same age, which would also be cool.

Well...here's the thing. I'm not ready to get married, not because I don't want to be, but the fact is that I'm not where I want to be in my own life, and I feel like I need to get a full grip on my own life before I ask someone else to share a life. I've heard recently that maybe we haven't found "the one" because our egos are too big and we feel like no one has been good enough, or may ever be good enough. I can definitely understand that because I have felt like that before, but usually I think it's probably true.

That's not to necessarily say that many of these girls are not as good as me, but more so that they are not or have not been compatible with who I am or want. If I were to get married tomorrow, there's only really one person that I would even consider, and that's because she grounds me, keeps me honest, and will break me down in a heartbeat if I step out of line.

I think even for us egotistical guys, there's always going to be a girl who will be "good enough", she will ground you, and when you're with her you'll feel completely satisfied, like there's nothing else out there to look for. You'll finally calm down, settle down, and naturally start to build your own family. Maybe I've added a little bit of a dreamer's touch to the whole story, but hey I'm a dreamer!

I guess what I've been trying to say is just be you. Whatever it is that helps you get through the day and be happy, do that. Don't rush into what you're not ready for, or with someone you're not sure about, 'cause chances are that you'll just end up regretting it. Whoever you end up with will accept you for who you are, I mean you shouldn't be frequenting bars and clubs anymore, or getting drunk all of time, but once you've found someone, it's other things that will make you happy. Now go forth and continue with your life, as I continue with my path to Ninja Mountain.