If You Feel "Rain" You Should Roll Up The Window

Do you ever “shoot yourself in the foot” and then beat yourself up about it for days or weeks, or even longer? (Different foot shots can affect you for different lengths of time). Sometimes it can be so bad it consumes every thought you have. Whether you’re watching a movie, driving, at work, learning to play the banjo, or studying your ninja handbook, all you can think about is when you pointed the gun at your foot and then proceeded to pull the trigger. The best occasions are when you don’t even know that you’re doing it. At first it is startling, until you realize from the pain shooting through your body that you’ve actually just shot a bullet into your own foot! Then the process of breaking it down in your head, “who, what, when, where, why, and how did I shoot myself in the foot”. This process will repeat itself over and over and over until you grab a hold of your own thoughts and pull yourself out of the gauntlet of questions going through your head.

Remember that time when you were a kid and you set a fish free (stole) from the open market and dropped it in a pond because you thought it was going to live again, only to realize the hard way that it was, in fact, not going to live and that you are going to get in so much trouble you’ll have to stuff your pants with tissues because of the paddle beating you’re going to get? Or maybe the time you got in the back seat of the car on a long road trip, so your little brother could pee in a cup and dispose of it easily from the front seat? You laughed hysterically as he tossed the cup out the window and it sprayed all over the windshield of the car next to us, who also happened to be driving a convertible with the top down? And then, as you feel beads of wetness hit your tongue while you laugh, it dawns on you that your window is also open, and you now have your brother’s urine all over your face?

Well, the truth is, you’re gonna shoot yourself in the foot here and there. It happens, its part of what makes us who we are today. I no longer steal dead animals, and I’m no longer an advocate of tossing pee out of a moving car. The key is not to shoot yourself in the foot for the same reason twice. You sometimes do something that you think is right, only to find out you were wrong, so learn from it and move on, all the while keeping your head up.

Walk the Walk

Ya know, I don't know if it's turning 30 that's getting to me, or if it's something else, but lately I've been feeling a sense of emptiness. I have plenty of friends, and a few close ones who are always and will always be there for me, so it's not that I'm lonely or feeling unloved. What it actually is, is a desire to find happiness, true personal happiness. That may sound stupid, but one of the most important things in life is finding happiness within yourself. This doesn't mean sitting around on the couch everyday, eating truffles, and playing with your belly button. You have to figure out what it is that is going to make you happy, really happy. Dream a little, not about flying on a magic carpet or slaying dragons with your mystical ninja skills, but something that you've always wanted to do or be. Something that fifty years from now you can say you did, instead of saying you wished you did. Pursuing this dream of yours may seem overwhelming at first, I know because mine have always overwhelmed me to the point that I do not act on them. Don't look at it as a mountain that you have to somehow get to the top of. Look at it instead as a series of small steps that you have to take, one by one, that will eventually get you where you want to be. You must be careful not to cut any corners when pursuing your dream, as that just wouldn't be fair to you. So, if you want to be a weather girl (insert whatever dream you had in mind), start reading up on what it takes to be a weather girl, practice being a weather girl in your bathroom window (that's how I learned to dance while watching "The Grind" on MTV) and occasionally for friends, allowing them to give you constructive criticisms, and paying close attention to your role models on the news. You're gonna need to find yourself somehow in or around a news room, probably in an entry level position at first, but with your goals in check and a smile on your face I'm sure I'll be watching you on the weather in no time (and I do not, nor have I ever watched the weather, so this is BIG). The only problem is that normally when someone that determined who also possesses all of the necessary tools (pretty face, bright personality, confidence, and intelligence (both book and street sense), the station's gonna want you to be more of a figure head, so either the weather girl becomes the new host of the news, or you end up an anchor.

Please understand that I, in fact, do not aspire to be a weather girl. I only use this example because I'm done talking about my dreams in '09. Barrack says that the change will begin with us, so I am done talking without walking. I've got a lot of walking to do, I'm gonna be exhausted...

Just Know That You’re Going to “eat it”…a lot.

Crash pads…don’t know what they are? They are pads to protect your buttocks for when you decide to pick up snowboarding. So, I did make my first snowboarding trip this weekend with some friends. We rented a nice little house right across from Wisp Mountain in Maryland; we could walk to the slopes in just a few minutes. We rented a four wheel drive for the trip, turned out to be a great investment. My loving mother picked up snowboarding apparel for me (gotta love a loving mother when you’re preparing for such a pivotal, non-mid-life-crisis related, adventure). I even picked up wrist guards, as this was strongly suggested, as apparently many snowboarding beginners seem to injure their wrists. Guess what else was strongly suggested?? That’s right, Crash Pads… They did preach it (by “they”, I mean my loving friends, Hou and Te who lead me right into the belly of the beast by talking me into snowboarding in the first place…), “get crash pants, Jerry…you’re really gonna want crash pants, Jerry…”, and so on. Well, I do believe I’ve said more than once that there is always a better way to say something when you want the person(s) on the receiving end of whatever you’ve been preaching, to understand to the fullest extent what you’re trying to get across. What they should have been saying was, “Jerry, seriously…you’re going to fall directly on your ass repeatedly throughout the course of just over an hour that it will take you to get down your first pass on a green trail. Every time you lose control of which direction your body is moving, and which opposite direction your ass is moving, you’re going to eat it. Oh yeah, and guess what? It just started freezing raining on the mountain, so your rear end is gonna be connecting with ice covered snow each and every occasion of sudden ass-to-ground impact. Eventually, sometime during your second day ever of learning to snowboard, you’re going to have landed on your butt that you’re going to be afraid of landing on your butt. This will lull you into a state of uncontrollable stupidity where you’ll decide it’s a better idea to take a page from “The Matrix” the next time you take a spill and spin your body while still in mid air, trying to land on your front side. WRONG! You will never make a full rotation in the air, and instead you will twist your ankle in your snowboard binding and slam the side of your head into the ice covered snow. It will hurt. Once you’ve determined that this tactic of “eating it” likely would end in broken limbs and possibly a concussion, you will continue falling towards your ass, but will now attempt using your elbows to brace your falls and protect your ass. WRONG AGAIN! After trying this a few times, you will have such a sharp pain in your elbow that you’ll think you may have shattered it. Get the crash pads, Jerry.” This would have spawned a strong sense of urgency and importance toward procuring crash pads. So, from me to all of you tossing around the idea of learning to snowboard please do learn. Once you start to pick it up it is awesome. It’s exhilarating, good exercise, and it gets you to experience the great outdoors in a way you never have before. But first please get some wrist guards and some crash pads, because the great outdoors in the dead of winter on a mountain is not very forgiving on your ass.  

Just Know That You’re Going to “eat it”…a lot.

Crash pads…don’t know what they are? They are pads to protect your buttocks for when you decide to pick up snowboarding. So, I did make my first snowboarding trip this weekend with some friends. We rented a nice little house right across from Wisp Mountain in Maryland; we could walk to the slopes in just a few minutes. We rented a four wheel drive for the trip, turned out to be a great investment. My loving mother picked up snowboarding apparel for me (gotta love a loving mother when you’re preparing for such a pivotal, non-mid-life-crisis related, adventure). I even picked up wrist guards, as this was strongly suggested, as apparently many snowboarding beginners seem to injure their wrists. Guess what else was strongly suggested?? That’s right, Crash Pads… They did preach it (by “they”, I mean my loving friends, Hou and Te who lead me right into the belly of the beast by talking me into snowboarding in the first place…), “get crash pants, Jerry…you’re really gonna want crash pants, Jerry…”, and so on. Well, I do believe I’ve said more than once that there is always a better way to say something when you want the person(s) on the receiving end of whatever you’ve been preaching, to understand to the fullest extent what you’re trying to get across. What they should have been saying was, “Jerry, seriously…you’re going to fall directly on your ass repeatedly throughout the course of just over an hour that it will take you to get down your first pass on a green trail. Every time you lose control of which direction your body is moving, and which opposite direction your ass is moving, you’re going to eat it. Oh yeah, and guess what? It just started freezing raining on the mountain, so your rear end is gonna be connecting with ice covered snow each and every occasion of sudden ass-to-ground impact. Eventually, sometime during your second day ever of learning to snowboard, you’re going to have landed on your butt that you’re going to be afraid of landing on your butt. This will lull you into a state of uncontrollable stupidity where you’ll decide it’s a better idea to take a page from “The Matrix” the next time you take a spill and spin your body while still in mid air, trying to land on your front side. WRONG! You will never make a full rotation in the air, and instead you will twist your ankle in your snowboard binding and slam the side of your head into the ice covered snow. It will hurt. Once you’ve determined that this tactic of “eating it” likely would end in broken limbs and possibly a concussion, you will continue falling towards your ass, but will now attempt using your elbows to brace your falls and protect your ass. WRONG AGAIN! After trying this a few times, you will have such a sharp pain in your elbow that you’ll think you may have shattered it. Get the crash pads, Jerry.” This would have spawned a strong sense of urgency and importance toward procuring crash pads. So, from me to all of you tossing around the idea of learning to snowboard please do learn. Once you start to pick it up it is awesome. It’s exhilarating, good exercise, and it gets you to experience the great outdoors in a way you never have before. But first please get some wrist guards and some crash pads, because the great outdoors in the dead of winter on a mountain is not very forgiving on your ass.  

Those Filipinos...

Charice Pempengco, remember the name. She is something special, and she’s most likely going to be Diva-Status in the next 6-10 years. She’s only 16 years old, she’s already won every singing competition there is to win in The Philippines (and that’s not easy, ‘cause all Filipinos can sing…), she’s already been on Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, Good Morning America, a tribute to David Foster, and she sang on stage with Celine Dion in during a Celine Dion concert at Madison Square Garden. You know you’re good when Celine Dion wants you to come perform her song at her concert while she sings back-up for you… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tgBQbPop0s&feature=related).
I only hope she is taken care of properly as he grows into her new role, as we wouldn’t want her to be the next Michael Jackson…