Who's the Coolest? Me, That's Who.

IIIIIIIIIItttttttttt'ssssssssssss Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyy!

Good morning, and welcome to WJReeZy live on the radio! Yes, I need a radio show...or maybe not. So, I've been a pretty boring guy as of late. Not going out much at all, haven't even had a drink in a bit. I've been trying to focus on work, as well as some other endeavors that I had temporarily dropped the ball on.

I've decided through much advice and coaching from people around me, that if I'm going to make any moves it's gotta be now. It's time to start "walking the talk" instead of just talking all of the time (I'm pretty good at talking all of the time). In the beginning it will be easier to stay motivated, but it will definitely get harder to push myself over time. Finding ways to keep going, and having a support system will be important for me.

I haven't done research on the subject, but I'm willing to bet that the majority of successful people in this world have had some sort of support system, whether it be friends, family, wife, girlfriend, robot monkeys, etc. A good support system will help keep you honest, keep you on a straight path, pick you up when you're down, bring you back down to earth when you're getting too confident, and overall just be there for you.

Luckily for me, I do have a great support system, full of friends and family who push me, give me new ideas, shoot down my bad ideas, and let me know that no matter what happens, I'll always be the coolest person they know... Okay, time to get back to business. Have a good day everybody, and remember...I'm the coolest person you know.

Batman Vs. Iron Man

Today I'd like to bring an ongoing debate I've been having with one Donnie Nussbaum about whether or not it's okay to enjoy a massage from a man when you are in fact a man ( a straight man). Actually, let's save that one for another time...

We have actually also been having a debate about wealth and fortune. In one corner we have Bruce Wayne, maybe better known as Batman. In the other corner we have Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man. Both are fictional characters that command significant fortunes, but which has the grander fortune??

My initial thought was that Tony Stark would be the wealthier of the two, as Stark Industries is a defense contractor, supplying the best weapons to the U.S. military, also indirectly supplying weapons to other countries in the world, and is based in New York City. Wayne Industries is also a defense contractor, based out of Gotham City. So, I'm originally thinking that Bruce Wayne has Gotham City money and Tony Stark has international money, deeming him the more wealthy fictional character, and then Ms. Suzanne Sanderford sheds some light to the topic by providing a link to the Forbes Fictional Fifteen, listing the top fifteen wealthiest fictional characters yearly. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbes_Fictional_15)

As it turns out, Forbes disagrees with me and has Bruce Wayne coming in at No. 8 on the list with an estimated fortune of $7 Billion, leaving Tony Stark behind at the No. 10 spot with an estimated fortune of $6 Billion. Soooooo, I guess that would make Donny right and Jerry wrong...unless anybody else might be able to provide documented proof otherwise?? Or maybe Tony Stark should just teach Bruce Wayne a lesson by beating his ass, just like Superman did...

Wouldn't It Be Cool If There Really Were Robot Monkeys?

DO YOUR JOB, DUDE! What the hell is wrong with some people? One thing I cannot stand is a person who displays his/her laziness in the workplace by hiding behind, "That's not in my job description..."

These people should all be replaced by robots or monkeys, or maybe even robot monkeys, as I'm sure we could train monkeys and robots to just follow a specific job description, no human common sense and basic decision-making abilities needed. Everybody runs into little things at work that are not necessarily their responsibility, but if they just spent the few minutes to complete, would really help everything run more smoothly.

It might be something like filling in some blanks on a form that was supposed to be there, taking a phone call for somebody else because they're busy, helping out other team members when they're in a bind or in the weeds, doing something nice for Jerry, you know...

They are usually simple things, but can make other people's lives easier and they'll always remember you as someone who helps out, instead of someone who bitches out.

On a brighter note, I watched a movie the other night that was awesome. It was suggested by my mother, and I would also suggest it to you all. It's called "The Great Debaters" and is based on a true story about a black college's debate team during the civil rights movement. It was very moving, and made me open my eyes for a couple of hours to challenges that many others have had to face in their lifetimes, finding a way to somehow overcome and still be successful.

I mean, some of the things that went on would literally make you sick, and yet many were able to endure the suffering and find a way to come out on top. It really puts things in perspective, as the challenges we face in being successful today are nothing compared to what it took for the blacks to find success during The Civil Rights Movement.

I don't have to worry about lynch mobs, the KKK, being considered an equal, etc. So, let's try to stay away from excuses like, "I can't because I have kids now", or "I'm married now, so I can't", or "I'm so tired from working a 12 hour shift", just don't say it, and don't think it either. You would be counting yourself out because you don't think it's possible to be successful or you're just too lazy to find out.

That just doesn't make any sense. I mean, how would you feel if your kids end up adopting the same way of thinking when they get older? You would be a big reason why they either give up on their hopes later, or decide they don't want to be like you and find success that way. Be a role model, be successful, do something great in your life, be alive, and have a good time with it along the way. We do have that opportunity today that many did not have in the past. Take advantage of it.

You Can Learn A Lot From Your Friends

You can get almost anything you want if you know how to ask... Well, maybe not anything, but it's definitely a good idea to be cautious of how you ask for something. Telling someone to give it to you is never a good idea, unless you're The Ninja Emperor. In case you're wondering, yes, I am The Ninja Emperor...

Whether it be advice, an object, attention, work to do, intercourse, the world, or a date with The Gerald, there's always a good way to ask and then some not-so-good ways to ask. The good way to ask may not always get you a "yes" answer, but at least the askee will consider what you're asking. The bad ways to ask will usually get the askee defensive or non-cooperative.

Example: Just this past Friday I'm driving to dinner with a friend, and she says to me, "Jerry, I think I'm awesome and I deserve all of your attention, and if you even think about answering your phone from here to dinner or back, I'll jerk the wheel and send us both into the cliffs of George Washington Parkway!" Wow. That's when I really realized that I don't need a girlfriend after all. I get all of the great perks of having a relationship with a high maintenance chick already!

So I explained to her that I am in fact The Ninja Emperor and that you can't talk to me like that. She abruptly changed her tune and began to ask everything in a much more pleasant manor. It was almost as if she had developed a glow about her (like the glow that some of the soap opera stars get that make them look like angels). I couldn't even say "no" to her anymore, so when she asked me to teach her the secrets of the Ninja, I was lulled almost into a dreamy state and agreed.

Okay, so I went off on a random story, but the message is simply to be weary of the manner by which you ask things, no matter what it is that you're asking. You will get a better, more cooperative response, and many times will even get a "yes" (even when you're asking for ancient sacred ninja secrets).

Ronnnn-reeey...I'm so Ronnnnrrreeeeyyy

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... Man, lately somebody's been feeling lonely... I'm not gonna say who, but his name starts with a "G", ends with a "D" and rhymes with "Awesomest in the whole wide werald!"

I think maybe it's about that time for...DUN DUN DUUUUUUUHN...a girlfriend.

Though the single life is definitely pretty awesome, no fights about nothing, no answering stupid questions like "Do you think I'm pretty?", no obligations that somebody else made for you, no explaining why you're home so late after a night out with the guys, no justifying going out with the guys, no jealousy over your attractive female friends (I guess I can kind of understand, I do have some pretty fly female friends), the list goes on.

Buuuuuut, having said all of that, somehow I miss it a little, and I bet it's possible to find a girl who's not overly jealous, not too high maintenance, and is an advocate of spooning. One of those girls that you can be friends with and just chill, a situation where it makes you happy just to make them happy. I used to think that maybe I was just being too picky or asking too much, but then some of my close friends started finding girls that fulfilled everything they could have possibly wanted and more even.

I'm not saying they have "perfect" relationships, but genuine they do have. Genuine is what you need, I've dated too many girls who just wanted me for my looks until they found out it was only the lighting (I've figured out all of the places that have lighting that favor my appearance and only take dates there in a rotation).

Now there's also the advice that you don't want to look for someone, 'cause you'll never find the right one because your looking. It just has to happen, if it hasn't already. Well, that's frustrating. Screw it, maybe I'll go desperate and have all of you send me suggestions and hone numbers on who I should date, a la Michael from "The Office...

Good luck to me, I'll keep you posted on "The Search for The Gerald's Eternal Servant!"

Immigration Issue

I met with a woman today looking for a home. She's a single mother with a 4 year old daughter. She's from Sierra Leone and came over to the U.S. through a process initiated by the Red Cross and the U.S. Immigration Service a couple of years ago. The program is apparently set up so that U.S. officials can go over to Sierra Leone and execute a number of interviews with local peoples of the country who may qualify for refugee status.

Well, she's not able to procure an apartment home with us, nor probably any other property management institution in the area, and probably a good portion of the continental U.S. She has no form of valid photo identification issued by either the state or the federal governments. She was originally processed when she came over in New York, as were many others in her situation. She was then issued a photo id card for employment eligibility and told she would have the same legal rights as other immigrants.

Well her i.d. expired in '07, it is now April 24, 2008 and she is SOL here in the U.S. of A. with no dice. She can't get a driver's license, she can't open another bank account, and if the check card for her current checking account expires, well she may be screwed there too. She also cannot be approved for an apartment home because she can't really prove she is who she says she is. Tough problem, huh?

Possible Solutions??

I asked the woman to go to the immigration services office tomorrow. She insists that she must make an appointment first, so I urged her to do so for tomorrow, and not to take "no" for an answer. I asked her to show up there no matter what, and never to take "no" for an answer when it came to her rights. I asked her to get in front of an immigrant service official and put him on the phone with me. I will then explain her situation and ask him to get her an authorized letter extending the expiration date on her employment permit. We could then process her for an apartment.

Bigger Problem??

There is a much bigger problem here. I know she is not the only one in this situation, can I help them?? Probably not, but there could be a solution to at least part of the problem. This area is probably full of people in this poor situation, as we are in the DC metropolitan area. Is it possible, as much of a headache it may turn out to be, to contact the Red Cross and the Immigration Service and come together to house these people legitimitally? Could we come together with the other major property management institutions in the area and have the Red Cross and the Immigration Service set up clinics around the area where they can present their expired identification and be given extensions? Could we have property management representatives on hand to help these individuals find housing that they qualify for based on income? Some of them may even have been able to build credit with bank accounts they procured when they arrived here. Because of the real estate boom in the last few years, many property management companies have somewhat high vacancy rates, so...we have the homes, we should find a way to fill them with good people trying to live a real life...

Gerald A. Keating

When Will My Dreams Become My Reality?

Phew! Long weekend for me, it was a nice and relaxing retreat from the everyday grind. Now me thinks it's time to get back to work, make some moves and take care of some business, player!

Opportunities present themselves to us everyday, we just have to be prepared to notice them and take full advantage of them when they do appear. You see, opportunity is not really going to knock. It'll just be there momentarily, waiting for you to recognize it. If you don't, then it will pass, just like those two gorgeous, lingerie-clad bombshells that keep taunting me to follow them to bedroom. I hesitate for just a second to judge the reality of the situation before deciding I just want to see what happens. By the time I get to the room, they're gone. Everytime, man! It's always right after I drink this nighttime tea that I got from a witch that lives in van down by the river. Wait a minute, who was that witch anyways...

Okay, I guess the moral of this little side story is that when the opportunity to buy tea from a witch who lives in a van down by the river presents itself, don't buy the tea...actually just don't approach any van down by the river that witches live in. That seems like a good rule of thumb.

Okay, back to reality. So, opportunities will present themselves on a daily basis. Figure out which one's you're interested in exploring, and run with it. Just don't get caught hesitating too much, before you know it those opportunities will pass you by, you'll be pushin' 30 with no monumental achievement to speak of, all of your friends will already be married with kids, and you're still trying to figure out what you want to do with your life...

Alas, there is still hope. Russell Simmons could walk in here tomorrow and tell me that he wants me to take over Def Jam! Damnit! Witches and their tea!

It Was a Crazy Game of Poker...

Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. It's actually pretty good advice, and I have been known to disregard such advice in the past as I'm sure many of you also have... but you should especially heed such advice when your name is a one letter name that starts with a "J", ends with a "J", and rhymes with "J". For those of you who may not be familiar with the term, it's derived from the game of poker, meaning to know when you have a hand worth playing, and also to know when your hand is weak and should be tossed away. Holding onto a weak hand can sometimes benefit you, if you find good cards on the board that compliment your hand, but the chances of this are slim. Usually holding on to a weak hand and playing it, only means you're going to lose some money. When you have a good hand you still have to be weary of your opponents, as one of them may have a stronger hand than yours. Play your cards tight, and your chances of winning always go up, play your cards foolishly, and you may just lose your ass.

This advice also relates to real life situations, as we are always posed with important decisions to make that can change our lives in a positive or negative manner. For instance, let's say you stumble upon somebody's blog. Let's also say that the persons responsible for the blog just happen to be REALLY AWESOME. Now, maybe you don't know that the people you're dealing with are as awesome as they are and you decide to take stabs at them with well thought out (the hand you thought was strong) statements. What happens next is a bit of a blur, as a flurry of samurai maneuvers and ninja tactics blindside you, slicing and dicing with swift verbal swords, pounding you repeatedly with fierce ninja-like English skills. Alas, it seems as though you may have retreated, tail tucked between your legs, and having learned a lesson about trying to attack a Ninja Master and a Samurai warrior, backed by their oh-so-stealth Peers of Mass Destruction!

Again I say, know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em.

Let's Break It Down For Just Moment

Destined for normalcy?? Could it be that I am "just like everyone else"? Wait a minute, that might be one of the most unintelligent things I've ever written... Nobody is just like everyone else. And now that I've thought about it for 1.2 seconds, no chance I'm "normal". I am lucky enough to have many acquaintences and friends, all ages, races, sizes, personalities, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. They are all very different and all have something to "bring to the table".

The only people in this world (unfortunately most people seem to be like this) who accept living "normal" lives and who think that's the way things are "supposed to be", are ignorant and blind to what life is really all about. The meaning of life, in case none of you have figured out yet, is figuring out what your part to play is. Figuring out what would fulfill your life for you. Everyone has a gift, and usually their gift ties in somehow with their dreams. If you spend your life ignoring your gifts and your dreams, then who are you?

Well, fortunately for me I do know what my strengths are, and I do know what my dreams are, and I take steps everyday to reach those dreams. I'm a big dreamer and the type of person who would never doubt that those dreams will come true.

It has been said recently that I may have "Napolean Issues", as anyone who would "charge a large sum of money just for the privilege of hanging out with him" apparently is a short guy with a power trip. Well, this is the part of today's blog where we explain the meaning of "humor".

Humor is defined as: a comic, absurd, or incongruous quality causing amusement. Guess what, all of the stuff that I write about how awesome I am, those are jokes. I know that some of you, or at least one of you is having trouble grasping the idea that I wasn't being serious about charging people to hang out with me, and in fact you're probably really excited to think that you now have an opportunity to hang out with me for free!

Next on our agenda for today is the matter of me "dispensing advice that no one wants to know and cataloguing what I eat without caring that no one wants to know". Well, the thing about the advice I give, is that it's mostly advice that I need to take. You see, this whole blog started out as a simple morning email. I was in a bad mood one day, and to catch a quick laugh I sent out a mass email that simply said, "Your Message of the Day: Jerry is Awesome." I did it because it made me laugh, changed my demeanor, and actually helped me to be more productive that day. Apparently it also made other people laugh in the middle of their days, which somewhat changed their demeanor and added to the quality of their day. I don't write this stuff everyday for you, I do it for me, but if it cheers other people up or motivates other people to make improvements to their own lives...then that's what is really awesome.

And finally, I'm starting to think I've been writing this whole time about events that don't really matter, i.e. the shattering glass tray on the stovetop... Maybe I should be writing about events that really matter... Maybe I should write about important stuff like the presidential race, the war, religion, orrrrrrr maybe not.

Politics in general are all a big mess, and nothing I say right now is going to change the fact that we put so much time and effort into picking the next jackass that's going to represent our country to the rest of the world and take the fall when things don't turn out right. Maybe we should talk about which religion is the right religion, or if Jesus was black or white, or olive, or purple. Maybe we should talk about the fact that we spend billions and billions of dollars every year to build the next machines that can kill more and more people at a time. Maybe we should talk about the fact that this country is full of people less fortunate than us, people who don't have homes or food, no medication for the illnesses they contract, and that we're more concerned with the homeless in China than we are in the homeless people who live just down the street. Maybe we should talk about public schools only teaching to the standardized tests and not really teaching kids about the things that are really going to matter.

You see, now I'm not so happy because I'm worrying about all of the things that really do matter, that I can't change today. But what gets me by everyday are the little lessons I learn in stupid and humorous little occurences, lessons that can be used later to really make a difference in the things that really matter. It all matters, don't take any of your life for granted, learn something new everyday, and put it to some good use.

Have a good day everybody, and remember, life will throw insults at you all the time, sometimes in the form of anonymous commenters on your blog. They are there for a reason, don't let them get you down, let them instead motivate you in a positive manner. It's not what makes me great that I'm concerned with. It's what's going to make me the greatest that I'm looking for.

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I Am Not Unlike A Super Hero

Good morning, hope you all enjoyed the weather this weekend, pretty nice. So I've been noticing some battles going on in the trenches of my blog comments. Interesting stuff you'll read there... I actually really appreciate the comments, as it means you're reading my entries. And, while most might retaliate against such criticisms as you might find in the comments sections, I appreciate them.

Did Jesus go without criticism? Did Martin Luther King Jr. go without criticism? Did Ghandi go without criticism? Did Superman go without criticism when Batman almost beat him in an issue of The Dark Knight Returns released in 1986? And so...understandably, The Gerald will not avoid criticisms. Really though, I can learn from such criticisms. I am, in fact, not perfect. I know, I know, you're shocked.

Well, it's true and I have accepted it, and I vow everyday to train hard and hone my ninja skills to near perfection, so that I may one day be able to defeat The Twin Samurai!! To be continued...

I'm #1!

Welcome back, where have you guys been? Okay, I've been slacking. Maybe I've been lacking motivation, but I've had time to reflect a little and am starting to focus on what to do with my own life.

I've always got all this great advice for everybody, maybe it's time for me to put as much of my own advice as possible and make some things happen! So... I'm going to put on a Superman costume, or maybe a cross between a superman and a ninja costume... Then I'm going to learn how to fly, by jumping off the cliffs of The Grand Canyon!! Wait a minute...I'm not doin' that, that's crazy! 

Okay, I'm going to write a list of "things to do" and strengthen all the pillars in the foundation of my life, start knockin' 'em, out one by one. Once you've gotten complete control of your life, then you can start chasing the dreams. I'm gettin' that Aston Martin, betta believe that. But I think I'll wait until I can walk into a car dealership in England and pay cash for the car of my dreams, without so much as a bit of hesitation. Don't worry, I'll make sure to notify you via email, text message, phone calls (pre-recorded mass phone calls), planes flying with banners, a big gorilla hanging on the side of the Empire State Building with a sign on it, to let you know when I'll be driving by your house to show off my new status defining toy. Damn, that's gonna be tight!

Okay, back down to Earth, Jerry. I've been wanting to say that I very much appreciate the people who read and comment about my rantings and imaginations everyday. People always ask about it, joke about it, sometimes even criticize it. I really appreciate it all. You would be shocked at how much this type of therapy can change a person. I get to wear my emotions not only on my sleeve, but also in writing. Then people that I know and people that I don't know give me feedback and insight. It's crazy, even just how much this world has changed in the last ten years. Anyway, thank you all for motivating me by reading my random thoughts everyday and letting me know that you do, it's pretty good ego fodder. Ha! He's got jokes, jokes and more jokes! 

That Jerry guy is awesome.